Things that cross your mind

First, I axed the Social Spark experiment. Not really into being a product junkie.

Onto the things that cross your mind and the things that you just need to "get out" there to get them out of you.

Why is it that assholes and players can be the best lovers? Seriously, the best one I've ever been with doesn't want me. Hell, I have a track record of Dudes not wanting to be seen in public with me. No joke.

It is funny how we think we have time. That there will always be another shot, and that we can still be that one we let get away. I always thought I would. We evolve, revolve, and know mutual friends. I always thought. Guess I was wrong. Dead. Fucking. Wrong. You don't think a single year is enough time for someone to permanently move on, so to speak. A part of me thought the late night dialogue would come true, and that we would finally--after all of these years--give things a try.

In light of my having Lupus and my family's history how will I find someone? Let's face it, having a sick (or what everyone but me sees as sick) girlfriend isn't the ideal. Then, if she has a sister who is a schizophrenic, and uncle of the same (but lesser on the scale, so to speak), and a brother who killed himself several years back . . . Yup, run now if you may. For the record, I generally just say the sister is bi-polar. She is. I just don't disclose much. I'm private like that. I am also practical because people will turn on you on a dime.

On that note, I have a beach date with a gal pal today. I am officially dating this lovely city because men have not been good to me, in a parody of the Johnny Cash song "Love's Been Good to Me." It has not.